My Dad is a fundamentalist Christian… so I heard and still hear quite often that God is a vengeful God. He punishes sin.
This scared me to death for my whole life and I’m 37 years old so that’s a long time.
I’ve never really believed it because I can’t imagine a force of unconditional love “punishing” anyone for being “bad” … but I was always really afraid to side step the idea just in case I was wrong. Ouch. That could really hurt. And even though my middle name is Angel, I’m sure if an all-knowing omniscient God looked into my life, he’d find a thing or two that would warrant a harsh trip to the fire pit.
Then I realized…. MY DAD IS RIGHT.
God is pretty vengeful when you consider God being My Higher Self. And my EGO being the smallest me I have. And my continual experience of getting a downright nasty kick in the ass whenever my ego starts running the show.
- 12-Step programs address the Ego (edging God out)
- Meditation practices recognize the Ego (the head chatter)
- Loved ones recognize the Ego (“he and his damned ego again…”)
- Enlightenment is defined as the realization of the bigger Self from the Ego “s”elf
This is powerful for me. This means that I might actually be able to relax and enjoy life a little bit if I stop fearing that there is an all-knowing force hanging around waiting to pummel me as soon as I relax, let go and do something pleasurable for myself.
I think the question to ask myself is which self is behind the desire?